It’s taken a couple of weeks for me to be able to write this blog….things didn’t go as I’d hoped at the selections for the World Championships, and if I’m honest, I didn’t really know what to write. I think I’ve gone through every emotion there is since the regatta, and if I’d tried to put my thoughts down in writing they would have seemed like the ramblings of one deranged female!!!
So I missed out on selection by 0.4 of a second. That still seems pretty harsh now!! I paddled well, but the bottom line is I just got beaten on the line. No excuses, that’s just how it is!
I’m not going to lie, I was devastated. I know I’ve still got so much improvement to come and the impact of the amount of training I missed as a result of my stress fracture was evident….and that was the biggest frustration, I know I’m a better athlete than how I performed at the selections, but the rules are it’s the first 2 boats over the line, and I finished 3rd– so that’s it, no World Championships for me.
At first I just wanted to quit….all I was saying to myself was “you’re just not good enough” Why did I ever think I could make it to Rio anyway” “You’ve just been dreaming, why did I sacrifice so much to try and make this happen” Etc. etc.
However, after a couple of days, I started to get my feisty head back on….in my opinion the result at the regatta was the wrong result, so do you know what, I’m going to work harder than ever, and prove to them that I should’ve gone, and that I’m 100% the boat that should go to Rio!
I needed to reset everything, my goals, my aims….and how I achieved them!
I then spent the next week pestering the coaches to death to find out exactly what I needed to do to get back on track and put right the result from the selections.
So now I’ve got the bit firmly back between my teeth! There’s 11 months to go until the selection regatta for the Paralympics….and I can make this happen! One of my biggest challenges is that my funding may now be cut…..and without funding, it become impossible to train full time. If I’m not training full time, making the gains I need to make to be that boat that goes to Rio becomes incredibly difficult.
So, time to get off my backside and deliver! I’ve set myself the challenge of raising £15,000, which is the amount I need to be able to commit to training full time for the next 11 months. I know it seems like a lot of money, but, I’m going to break it down into bite sized chunks….if I can get £500 here and £1,000 there from sponsorship and support, then suddenly £15,000 becomes an achievable amount!
I keep training full time, and I work harder than ever!! I have to hit 105% of the Gold Medal Time by September if I’m to stay on the Rio pathway….this means I have to go sub 54 seconds within the next 6 weeks. My PB at the minute is 56 secs. It’s going to be a challenge, but I fully believe I am capable of hitting this time. I feel a bit like a woman possessed on the water at the minute…every stroke I take is proving a point! But slowly, I’m chipping away at the time I need to hit. There’s huge gains to be made now I’m at last back into a block of solid training. I’m focused, I’m determined…and more than anything I’m a little bit angry – it’s amazing what motivation a bit of anger can give you!!!
I’ve also got to really work hard in the gym. In order to hit the time I need to hit on the water, I’ve got to get more powerful, and that’s going to come from some serious work in the gym. I’m lifting more weight already….and that bench press better look out – I’m a woman on a mission!!!
It’s been a difficult couple of weeks, at times all I wanted to do was get in my car and come home. But I didn’t, I want to be a better athlete than that……dealing with knocks and setbacks is part of sport, so if I can’t handle it, I should choose another career! I want to be the kind of athlete that uses this to motivate me and to drive me forwards. Rio is still an absolute reality, and it’s up to me to get my head down, work hard, and make it happen.
How many of the top athletes have had to fight to get to where they want to be, that’s what makes them good. I feel more committed, focused and 100% determined to make it to Rio than ever, so do you know what, in the long term, maybe this has been a good thing.
I’m proud of how I’ve handled everything. One thing this has taught me is that success isn’t always defined by the result. It’s about being the best you can be, being the person you want to be, being respectful to others….and enjoying the journey along the way. If you can do all of that you’ve achieved success, whatever the outcome.
SDN says-Help for Kelda, can anyone help Kelda get the financial support she needs? If anyone has any ideas of contacts that Kelda could approach for sponsorship please contact Kelda by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or call her on 07977 574785