Kelda writes.. I feel a little bit in limbo..
So it’s now been 6 weeks since the selection regatta for Rio, and I’ll be honest, there’s been a mixture of emotions. It’s been amazing watching the 6 athletes selected continue on their journey, their focus, their intensity, their excitement…..but it’s also been quite difficult, as it’s sunk in that this is really happening, and I’m really not part of it.
Every stage of our training plan for the last 2 years has been geared towards Rio, and it’s difficult to find the same motivation and determination now that goal is no longer there. I always promised myself that I would remain committed to being the best I can be, even if I didn’t get selected, as we still have one more regatta to go in September, and there’s still everything to prove to keep my place on the squad for next year.
But things have changed.
I still give 100% every day in every training session, but sometimes you can’t help but ask the question “why?”
But it’s not all doom and gloom! The one opportunity that has come out of not being selected is the fact that I’ve been able to pick up some of my other work that I’d put on hold for the last 12 months while I focused on selection.
Climbing Out is growing at a rate of knots and our first programme of the year takes place at the beginning of August. It really does feel fantastic to be putting time and effort back into the charity and the young people that get so much out of the work that we do.
I’ve also been back at The Battleback Centre as a member of the coaching team which is always so rewarding, and I’ve been travelling up and down the country with my motivational speaking. All of this is amazing work and I feel privileged to get to meet so many incredible people.
But it’s left me wondering exactly who I am…..for the last 18 months I’ve been an athlete, and I’ve known exactly what I’ve been aiming for. But suddenly that goal, for now, has gone, and I feel a little bit in limbo.
I can’t wait to see my team mates smash it up in Rio….and I know they will. But there is a part of me that’s going to be watching wishing I was there instead!
I guess sometimes there’s a period in our lives where we just have to put our head down and keep going….it’d be unrealistic to think life can be amazing 100% of the time. I certainly don’t want this to be the end of the journey, so I’m trying to see this as just the part where I’m stuck in a bit of a traffic jam!
The challenge is to keep going and not give up…..and I will always accept the challenge!